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My Big Fat Blog

Axes and Powder Puffs – My Week in List Form

My Big Fat Blog: As usual my luvlies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:

1. On the endless rock-n-roll roller-coaster that is my life, I’ve exited my house TWICE this week, once to put the garbage out. I know, take some deep breaths, the ‘shivering-with-excitement’ will abate.

2. I ate breakfast everyday this week, as opposed to coffee and cigarettes. I know I know, get off me about it.

3. Question of the week: How is it £90.00 for a bag of chopped up wood? Assuming it takes about 15 minutes to hand-chop and the logger works for six hours a day with an hour break, heck, lets say two hours – that’s £1440.00 a day. RIGHT! Amazon, show me the axes!!

Axes and Powder Puffs - My Week in List Form

4. Dexter the boy-cat is extra cuddly this week. He stands on my lap and headbutts me while I’m typing. Get off me, you handsome teddy fur-ball-87ysne7;havpuiw9-9

5. Oh! I decided to not eat meat anymore. It’s been a long time coming, but the last straw was eating a pre-made salad last week with bacon in it and biting down on a chunk of pig fat. Gag fest 2018. ‘Scuse my french, but it was fucking hideous. Not long after, my sister phoned me and asked what I wanted for Christmas dinner this year (we are eating out this year). So I told her, “Vegetarian-everything…… and CAKE.

6. Last year I made some ‘how-to’ coding videos (’cause that’s how I be rollin’) This week I had need to do some coding. So I had to watch my own videos in order to remember this particular thing. It was…odd. Several times I thought to myself, ‘I didn’t know I knew that. What else don’t I know that I know?’ – I know, right. Deep.

7. Mask of the week this week is one I decided to try again: GlamGlow Thirsty Mud  as I wasn’t all that impressed the first time – but I thought I’d give it another go. Just to be fair ya know? Its still £0.52p per gram. It smells like your Granny’vintage talc.jpgs talcum powder flouffer – you know, the one with the great big feather puff in a pink plastic pot.  It says to apply it, leave for ten minutes and then either wipe off or rub it in. (I might have rinsed it off last time, I can’t remember). 

“Okay, Google, give me a ten minute timer,”

8. I’ve been invited recently to talk on a video-panel about subjects covered in my book and I’m enjoying it immensely. Mostly, I’ve been practicing muting my mic before I toot; something I seem to be doing a lot of lately on account of chick peas and flax seeds.

9. You know you’re old when you replace saying ‘Now, what did I come in here for?’ with ‘Now, what did I stand up for?’

Quote of the week:

“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, unless it agrees with your common sense and observation.”


How was YOUR week?

handled axes have heads of stone with some form of wooden handle attached (hafted) in a method to suit the available materials and use. Axes made of copper

Author, Writer, Editor, Coach, Mother of Cats.


  • The Lockwood Echo

    Pretty Peach Beauty Dust. PRETTY PEACH BEAUTY DUST. Now THAT takes me back to something I’d completely forgotten about. Ding Dong, Avon calling! This was a great list. That GIF is sublime. Did I comment on Twitter? I meant to and have been looking forward to rolling up to this post in my feed just for that GIF. I love that you had to look up stuff you know but didn’t know. Someone recently read one of my posts from a while back and I decided to re-read it myself, to see if I was still happy with it through fresh eyes. And there are whole chunks of it I have NO MEMORY of writing. How can that be? Anyway, it was funny AF, so it didn’t matter that I wrote it in my sleep ;).

    • SamanthaDee

      Are Avon ladies still around? I think they are, although I’m not sure I’d let them in these days 😀 I remember the book though, with all those folder-over perfume pages. I’d open them all!

  • acomediansguidetoenlightenment

    Your cat Dexter sounds like my Logan! He’s totally independent until I sit down to my computer to do some work. Then he’s ALL over me. He actually crashed my computer once as a kitten! And I love that you had to watch your own coding video to learn how to code. I feel like that’s something I would do. It’s ok that you haven’t left your house much, I’ve been the same! Though tomorrow I’m actually driving up to a winery to pick and stomp grapes so stay tuned for (hopefully) a cool story. Have a great week!

    • SamanthaDee

      Oooooh grape stomping! I wonder whether it’s still a barefoot job or whether you have to put those food hygiene baggies on your feet? Yes, please report back, it’s vital I know this! 😀

      • acomediansguidetoenlightenment

        I actually just got back! I did it both with sterilized boots and plain barefoot. They don’t worry about germs or bacteria because the alcohol is gonna kill it all. I will say, no one realizes it is FREEZING cold on your feet. They pick the grapes at night and store them at 40 degrees so my feet literally went numb from stomping. But so fun and worth it! I’ll post video and pics soon. 👍🏻 🍇

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