The other day I replied to something on Twitter, saying “My life is just a roller-coaster of emotion.” – I can’t remember who I said it to, possibly in response to a picture of Gerard Butler with puppies.
But then I got ta thinkin’. Why is it that there are some people who float along on their lives, just coping, having nice things happen, steadily, consistently, sitting on a furry beanbag plucking harp-strings and humming ‘wonderful world’? I mean, like a tea-cup ride in the fairground.
Or, more to the point, would I rather that – than THIS neck-breaking roller-coaster of chaotic inconsistency, earthquake-like crises, curling up in a corner and rocking, before the world swallows you up to the tune of ‘the wretched’ ?
I’ll take the chaos any day of the week.
Ya know why? it means I can handle a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. It means I come out stronger, fiercer, and more determined than ever before. It means I’ve learned from my mistakes, it means I am humbled by the discovery that people care about me. It means I know how much I can handle.
Out of this chaos comes things. Books get written, weight gets lost and help appears from places you would rarely expect. You also get to know who your REAL friends are.
Its very likely that the harp-pluckers are more prepared, they are more level-headed, and they plan for the future as if it’s an OCD. But, do you think you might be able to handle the roller-coaster? How do you know if you’ve never been on it?
Every time I come out the other side of some disaster or other (lose job, almost lose house, get in therapy) everything just seems to fall in my lap all at once.
Metaphors aside, last year I lost my job, went through seven months of financial despair, put myself into therapy and often wallowed about the couldda wouldda shoulddas.
Today, I have a huge job offer in hand, a book out next month, second on the way, am 45lbs down, sitting in front of a fireplace in a house I’ve managed to keep, thanks to friends and family that I am now sure, care about me more than I thought they did.
Life’s pretty fucking good, today. Just thought I’d share 🙂