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My Big Fat Blog

Author Blog: Lentils and Knickers – My Week in List Form

As usual my luvlies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:

1. Just to be self-sadistic, in addition to de-cluttering being a constant in this house, I’ve now added the moving around of furniture. It’s like a scene from The Cube. 

2. For some reason, as soon as my other projects start getting somewhere, my phone starts ringing off. the. hook for I.T jobs. Not complaining or anything but it feels like someone put a spell on me or something.

3. From today, I am a tree-hugging hippie.

4. Lentils and Knickers - My Week in List FormGot my hair done this week at the home of my former hairdresser. Her new baby boy was criminally cute and extremely cuddly. I know, right! ME, liking a baby!

5. I don’t just own bulk bag of chia seeds now. Red lentils, coconut chips, cacau and just about every other seed know to man. I walk in my kitchen and think I’ve walked into someone else’s.

6. Despite having all that enthusiasm for outdoor things last week, the temperature’s gone from fifteen to TWO in as many days. I’ll have to find something else to get excited about, that involves staying inside. Forever.

7. I caved and signed up with Birchbox. My first box contained TWO masks (heehee, you can see where this is going). One being the ‘Beauty-Pro Thermotherapy warming gold foil mask with hyaluronic acid and Q10’, phew that’s a mouthful. The other one’s a hair mask I just notice. That could have been interesting. Results next week.

8. Me: ‘oooh, these knickers are nice, wonder why I haven’t worn them in a while?’ – let’s just say if I wasn’t wearing jeans the knickers would have fallen down round my ankles as soon as I started walking. Note to self: stop keeping things that are broken. Especially KNICKERS.

9. Bit of an unnerving incident last night. Bloke (quite a dishy one, in a rough kind of way) delivered a parcel to me last night. Then five minutes later he came back – to ask me some weird question about his next delivery. I should have left the chain on the door but I didn’t. Sure it was perfectly innocent (I mean it was, he didn’t force his way in, obviously) but my heckles definitely went up!

Quote of the week:

“Our life is shaped by our mind, for we become what we think.”

buddha

How was YOUR week?

Sammy also writes and teaches at DYPU | Sammy on Facebook

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Panties
Panties (in American English, also called pants, undies or knickers in British English) are a form of underwear primarily worn by women. Panties can be

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4 Comments

  • acomediansguidetoenlightenment

    I love all of this as always!
    1-I’ve never been one to find babies cute either, but lately they have been KILLING me. Maybe they developed baby witchcraft skills?
    2- What are coconut chips? I want them. Is it bad I’m picturing a yummy desert morsel in my head which defeats all purpose of health food?
    3- I’m a silly American and I have NO idea how to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit so when you say 2 degrees that is REALLY frickin cold to me! 😜
    Also I live in L.A. and it was 63 today and I was like Holy shit! It’s freezing! Break out the sweaters.

    • SamanthaDee

      2 degrees darling is 35.6f LOL .

      It’s so glamorous to me, the “I live in L.A” thing 🙂 that’s what too many movies does to a woman!

      • acomediansguidetoenlightenment

        Haha while I definitely do love living in L.A., the homeless meth heads yelling at their invisible friends, or the trannies soliciting sex on the corner by my local 711, definitely tend to burst the glamour bubble at times 😜

    • SamanthaDee

      And err, babies are ‘humans,pre-programming’. They are crammed with spirit that hasn’t been tainted by this planet. That’s why when they smile at you, it’s the realest smile you’ll ever get. Imagine, that’s her brand-spanking new brain cells saying ‘smile at her’

      Then again, it could just be wind.

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