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Jennifer Saunders opening blinds in the morning and recoiling backwards
My Big Fat Blog

Author Blog: Parasols and Vegan Mayo – My Week in List Form

As usual my luvlies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:

  1. Managed to dye my hair this week, without making my bathroom look like Dexter’s kill room. I consider that progress. Little things, my friend, little things.
  2. In an effort to make my two terrors eat dry food instead of wet, I’ve adopted a two-choice policy: ‘take it’ and ‘leave it’. If it was good enough for me growing up, then dagnabbit, it’s good enough for them.
  3. I’m fast becoming the murderer of parasols. Yes, my name’s Samantha and I’m a parasol murderer. On occasion, I’m a lazy witch. So when there’s a storm coming I leave my garden parasols UP and just, you know, hope for the best. Not really a winning policy. I’m getting help for it.
  4. Committed to sitting out in the sun for at least twenty minutes this week. My skin is so white that if I bared skin, I’d permanently damage your retinas.
  5. This weekend, my Kindle book is FREE
  6. Vegan Mayo is actually pretty impressive. I bought a jar and was afraid to try it for days. I’m actually impressed. I’ve used that word too many times now and it looks weird. Impressed.
  7. I binge-watched Lucifer Season 4 yesterday. Not because Tom Ellis is half-naked through most of it. Not at all because… Tom Ellis.
  8. Am I officially the last person on the planet to experience NetFlix? I think I might be. These and other important life questions… #FirstWorldProblems
  9. New kind of exercise, here give it a go. You will need (a) a cat. “Let cat out, go back to what you were doing and get comfortable. Let cat in. Let cat out, go back to what you were doing and get comfortable. Let cat in. Let cat out, go back to what you were doing and get comfortable. Let cat in. Let cat out, go back to what you were doing and get comfortable. Let cat in. Repeat 29374 times throughout the day.

Quote of the week:

“We serve no meat of any kind. We’re not only proud of that, we’re smug about it.”

Monty Python’s Flying Circus

How was YOUR week?

Sammy also writes and teaches at DYPU | Sammy on Facebook

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Umbrella
interchangeably. Often the difference is the material used for the canopy; some parasols are not waterproof. Umbrella canopies may be made of fabric or flexible

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Author of 'My Big Fat...Fat' out now on Amazon

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