My Big Fat Blog

Humaning and Car-Trouble – My Week in List Form (Cabin Fever Version)

As usual my lovelies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:

1- So, the UK has entered into an unfathomably confusing second lockdown. People are panic-buying bog roll again and trying to figure out what they can and can’t do, like hop on one leg while poking each other in the eyeball. Yes you can, by the way, as long as it’s with members of your own household and you wash your hands afterwards.

2- I’m finding multiple uses for knitting needles. They make awesome back-scratchers. Then I had a flash-forward of what my headstone would read: ‘Utter dork, who stabbed herself in the back with a knitting needle’. That kind of put a damper on things in this household. But ermagerd, they hit the spot.

3- The entire planet is feeling the US’ anxiety over the election. I’m so excited it feels like Christmas. A Christmas where you have a cantankerous old family guest that everyone hates and you got lumbered with that year. A guest who has outstayed their welcome before the private ambulance comes to a stop outside. The guest who spouts ever-increasingly inappropriate statements throughout dinner, with each glass of Sherry. The one who has to be forced to leave by her ambulance crew who apologize for them as they are dragged away, spitting and swearing like a drunk sailor.

4- A day before lockdown, I got invited out to lunch for the first time this year. This meant a major operation to wash, put on underwear and stay awake for more than three hours. You’d be proud, I did it all. Hair, makeup, CLOTHES, leaving the house, remember my keys. Hopped in my car to drive to the location of the frivolous festivities and- (I’ll let you guess the rest).

5- I’m still attempting to get through the entire back-catalog of ‘Most Haunted’. I’m about eighty episodes in now, and I’ve taken to using it as background noise while I’m knitting. Because mostly, there’s nothing to see. To summarize, I’ve listened to forty hours of ‘Shhh, did you hear that’ (I’m a slow knitter).

Quote of the Week:

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”

Pablo Picasso

How was YOUR week?

2 Comments

  • liberallin

    Sam, I can visualize your week from your oh so descriptive writing. And yes Election Anxiety is a real thing coupled with the idiotic moving the clock back an hour…I’ve aged considerably. But hey, its Biden Baby…yeah!

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