My Big Fat Blog: As usual my luvlies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:
1 – Well here we are then! Author blog time… Happy Summer Solstice to you hippies out there. Today is the longest day. Winter will be here in no time. Get your waders out.
2 – I spent last week in deepest Somerset, near a place called Cheddar Gorge. We used to visit there as kids and this was my first time back as an adult.
My most vivid memory of Cheddar was throwing a tantrum in a jewelry shop because I demanded I have a pair of silver hoop earrings. I sat down and folded my arms, and my parents left me in the shop. Until closing time. It taught me a valuable lesson as you can imagine.
Cheddar Gorge is ancient, and has a history of witchcraft. They also make a lot of cheese, in Cheddar… go figure.
3 – I spent the week with my ever elusive uncle, the only boy born in that generation and whom I rarely see. I used to think he was WAY way cool back in the seventies. We’d visit my Granny as a family, and his bedroom door was always shut, and I’d hear Jimi Hendrix blasting from behind the door. I remember taking tea on a tray up to his room and there’d be a huge cloud of smoke as you opened the door. I’d make out several people all sitting on the floor and this really sweet smell, what I know know to be a mix of cannabis, rolled smokes, incense and bikers leathers.
He never spoke much, but I always got a kind and gentle vibe from him. His life has been one of drink, drugs and rock and roll in every sense you could imagine, and it’s almost killed him several times. But he’s also got a crazy count of black belts – in just about every discipline you can imagine and used to knock about with a certain biker gang, and people like Ray Winstone and other names. He was offered a stunt role, but turned it down as he detests being told what to do, a core value he sticks with to this day. Love his stories.
Anyway, I probably got to see him five times in my life, so it was a treat to spend a week with him. He’s severely averse to videos and social media (yes, he is THAT cool) and I hope he’ll forgive me for taking this video, obviously I haven’t shown his face here on my author blog.
I really enjoyed our conversations and hope he continues his recovery.
4 – In other news, I managed to get a flat tire upon arrival at our holiday destination. I kerbed it, I think. Women drivers eh. Pfff, what ya gonna do. Anyway the kind gents who run the park we were staying in helped me out.
5 – In terms of lifestyle, you could do worse than live in a caravan on the beach. Every day I had honey on toast for breakfast, a long long walk on the beach, lunch was basically anything plant-based cooked up in a pan and the mattress topper in my aunties caravan was to die for. I could see myself doing that.
6 – Got home to a garden full of geraniums as big as dinner plates (ok, slight exaggeration for dramatic effect) and peonies as big as footballs (not an exaggeration) now I’ve typed exaggeration too many times and it looks weird.
7 – I still smoke, I’m ashamed to say. But on the advice of my uncle I’ve started rolling my own. Better at it than I thought. Hey, we are all imperfect right?
8 – Upon returning from my short vacay, my cats didn’t speak to me for two days. As is customary for my masters, the rule is to treat me with contempt for at least forty-eight hours before they allow me to make good my oversight of neglect and self-indulgent REST. Happy to say they have forgiven me and now again allow me to let them in, then out, then in again, daily.
9. To celebrate the Solstice, the kindle version of ‘My Big Fat…Fat’ is free for the next five Fridays.
10 – Quote of the week: