My Big Fat Blog: As usual my luvlies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:
1. Had a bit of a ‘I hate my cats’ week. Brother and Sister are tag-teaming me to go outside, come back in, go outside, come back in. I’m sure there’s some kind of entity in the Universe that has decided I deserve this. What kind of sacrifice is it going to take to make this go away? You wanna cat?
2. Have developed a weird rash on the right side of my face. Note to self: stop eating sweetcorn ya crazy bitch. Your body DOES NOT like it, as all your orifices have attested. #WillNeverLearn
3. As anticipated, the snow arrived. We have about an inch of it, and the Blizzard-Chaos news headlines are abound. The entire UK has come to a complete standstill. I could post a ‘Meanwhile in Canada’ meme, but that would be too easy. Looks pretty. Not going out. Unless I run out of coffee.
4. Speaking of which my five-yearly ‘actually I might have some tea’ phase is upon me. PROPERLY made English tea is a force to behold (not that stuff Americans do!), and is therefore the subject of my next ‘My Big Fat Kitchen‘ live video. Y’all can’t make proper tea. This needs fixing! I think this would end all wars.
5. This week someone walked up to my car, decided they wanted my aerial, unscrewed it and took it home with them. WHO fricken does that? (and is there some way I can hook my car up to the local power station so that it sends 200,000 volts into whoever touches my car? Please, tell me there is!
6. Well, not sure I mentioned that I dyed my own hair last week. Went kind of okay, dyed my greys electric pink (just in case they’re not obvious enough) and everything else it has come into contact with, Magenta. It’s very pretty, but when it shows up how you haven’t cleaned your bathtub often enough, you kinda start hating it.
7. Since I have an unknown rash of unknown origin on my face right now, there is no mask of the week. It’s definitely the sweetcorn. Not the Turkish Delight I’m eating right now with my coffee. At 7.30am. #LifeGoals
8. One of my YouTube ‘deep-dives’ the other day landed me on a video on how to humanely euthanize a snake. Apparently crush its head with something extremely heavy, very quickly. Decapitating them or freezing them is not humane. They feel it for an extended period, apparently. Good to know. Learn something new every day, I always say.
9. So I’m now going to finish my morning coffee and listen to next-doors kids having fun in the snow, and feeling sorry for my neighbor who’s going to be hip deep in water and wet clothes for the rest of the day.