Author Blog: Hair Dye and Cat Noses
My Big Fat Blog: As usual my luvlies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:
1. I am the epitome of elegance. The other morning I woke up like Cinderella, stretched. The bluebirds put my robe on. I sprayed my face with mineral water from the floating mountains of Pandora. Then realised I had my glasses on.
2. I’m patenting a new idea to automate the letting in and out of cats. Wet Nose DNA. The cats stick their face on the door window like one of those 1980’s Garfield window toys.
3. Had an interesting relationship with a Harvester Spider this week. You know, the ones with two inch legs and a body the size of a pinhead. Let’s call him ‘Bod’. Bod fell into the bathtub three times and three times I rescued him and his stupid legs. On the fourth day, I scooped him up with a magazine and put him out on the window ledge. For five minutes he fought to get back in as I was closing the window. Him and his stupid legs. Anyways, we said our goodbyes. I haven’t checked to see if he’s still waiting to get back in.
4. Things NOT to do when it’s hotter than a fricken snake’s belly outside: Change bedding on a super king size bed. If ever there was a time for an ice bath….
5. You know it’s too hot outside when your measurement of whether or not to go outside and do adulting, is whether or not you have to put a bra on for it.
6. It appears I’m still grieving from the discontinuation of a certain MAC Lipstick fifteen years ago. I’m still looking for it today.
7. To save my bathroom from again becoming a scene from Dexter, I had my hair done professionally (a treat these days, not a routine). Finally no longer look like Aunty Em from ‘The Wizard of Oz’
8. I’m peeling, from my week at the beach recently. Which is kind of weird and gross at the same time. I haven’t peeled since my school days when we used to cook our legs with baby oil during the lunch-break.
9. I put a couple of my tech talents out on Fiverr last week, so if you know anyone who has a website, I’m your man.
10. Quote of the Week: