My Big Fat Blog: As usual my luvlies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:
1. So, I left the house the other day, wearing Birkenstocks. With socks. Stripy, woolly ones.
2. With that in mind, I’m concocting some elaborate booby trap that will, you know, electrocute me if I do that again. Spinsters have to come up with their own solutions, you know.
3. I’ve had a series of totally bizarre job interviews this week. The latest one, I’m interviewed by not one, but TWO of these.
4. They proceeded with a plan to play some kind of psy-mind games on me, to see how I conduct myself under stress/aggression. They each started asking me questions, talking over each other and asking a new question while I was still answering the other one. Luckily I cottoned on, before I whipped out my tazer.
5. So, my plan for the next job interview is to walk in, face my interviewer, tell him my salary requirement, and then knock him the fuck out.
6. Spider-gate: Haven’t seen my Daily-Mail-reading arachnid lately. Which could mean that either my cats are finally doing their job, or he’s in some corner, plotting.
7. Mask of the week this week is one of the last Korean jobbies I have in the fridge: “Milk”. Smelled slightly terrifying, was white, and slimy. I don’t know about these Korean crazes, you know? yeugh.
8. Had my car washed the other day (for the interview I went to). I now have a small collection of those dangly car air-fresheners, since they give me one free every time I visit. I haven’t got the heart to tell them that one doesn’t dangle things in a Mercedes, darlings. How uncouth.
9. Although, I’m slovenly enough to let spiders live in my wing mirrors. I love watching the little fuckers hang on while I’m doing eighty on the motorway.
Quote of the week:
How was YOUR week?
About Samantha Dee, Author and Writer
Samantha Dee is the Author of ‘My Big Fat…Fat’ and ‘The Thirty Day Wellness Journal’. Her next book, ‘My Big Fat…Kitchen’ is due out soon.
When not writing books and blogging in her comedy lifestyle blog My Big Fat Blog, Samantha uses her twenty year tech career and has written several online courses for business startups.
She lives in Hampshire with her two cats and is still waiting for Gerard Butler to call. Learn more: