My Big Fat Blog: Quinoa and The Fifth Ring of Hell – My Week in List Form

My Big Fat Blog: As usual my luvlies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:

1. Right! Up and at ’em! Posts to write, articles to read, study to d- ooh, ‘How Sharp is a Cheetah Tongue’ – let me just watch that. 

2. The BBC launched a new service the other day, for British people who talk about the weather (well, all of us really, it’s in our DNA). It’s called ‘Get the Weather Forecast Totally Wrong and See Who Notices’. This week it was ‘Light showers and a fresh breeze,’ when actually it was the fifth ring of HELL.

3. I announced my next book the other day, ladies and gentlemen, ‘My Big Fat…Kitchen’

I’m on a bit of a personal journey at the moment, I’ve given up meat (although, don’t put a steak in front of me), and I’m teaching myself how to fricken’ cook (with things like quinoa), on account of twenty years of hotel eating, work eating and pre-made meals. I also figured I’d practice what I preach in ‘My Big Fat…Fat’. We’re not all born Nigella (nor have her seven-grand a month pocket money), and I want to show in this book that you have to start somewhere. The book basically journals thirty days of me trying not to murder myself in a kitchen. With a potato peeler. Or give up. Out 2019 under the same fatabulous Editor, Night Owl Press.

4. I planted some herb seeds this week. I told ya, hippie! It’s actually on account of a handful of fresh mint from the grocery store being 70p. You know you’re getting old when…

5. Had another disaster of an interview the other day. Got a job description through from an agency and one of the skills required was “fluent in C#’ – I said no, because I am not (would rather eat glass), and the agency said “Oh, don’t worry about that, it’s just a ‘nice to have’. So I agreed to interview by phone. Well you guessed it, turned out that was basically ALL they wanted. Choice words I had after that phone call, I can tell you.

6. Amazon is way way way way too easy to buy from. This week’s hauls include a garden bench (with storage for tools). I know right, six weeks ago I’m chucking away chairs. Now I’m fricken buying them again. Oh, and quinoa, I bought quinoa. 

7. My power of persuasion is such that I persuaded an auntie to be a lab-rat for me. This week she’s applying coconut oil to her face at night for a week to see whether it has any benefits (I mean, allegedly it does). I think it was because she was about to buy some face cream from a dodgy site that probably had rat secretions and armadillo spit in it. I have my work cut out, teaching her about the internet.

8. I roasted a butternut squash the other day. Still don’t know what recipe it was for. But I’m sure I’ll find it. Today I’m making chickpea-chilli. It’s fricken de-lish, you know.

9. The two terrors are still working on BST. Which means they nag me for food at 6am and 4pm. Although they know it’s Winter, since they flat out refuse to go outside. Yeah, me too kids, me too.

Quote of the week:

How was YOUR week?