My Big Fat Blog: ‘Wow-Moments’ and Dead Spiders – My Week in List Form

My Big Fat Blog: As usual my luvlies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:

1. Had my first coaching assessment yesterday. Apparently I’m a natural. I’m now officially able to guide people to their oh, wow-moment. Hey, you at the back, don’t be smutty!

2. Happy October! last grass-cut, firewood is in (see 4.), today I’m putting away garden cushions and whatnot. Hunkering down for the British winter! (which lasts until May, usually)

3. I’ve made my bed in the morning for two weeks straight. A million miles from going all “Stepford” on you, but you know; accomplishment and routine are king in this house.

4. The firewood is in because a family member brought it in for me. SPIDERS IN MY WOOD PILE! I found one a couple of years ago (that had accidentally fallen into a mop bucket and drowned) – it was SO big I did a cartoon double-take and tripped over a doorstep backing away from it. Yes, from a DEAD spider. Eugh, spiders. Hate spiders.

5. I’m into wax melts at the moment, this week it’s ‘Lime and Basil’ – divine! (That is to say, I’ve gone from a scented candle addiction to a wax melt addiction.) #FirstWorldAddictions

6. Willow cat usually sleeps in with me on the odd night. This week I thought I’d try Dexter cat. The little shit kept me awake ALL night. Shame, cos he’s cuddly as a teddy bear, but GODS, he’s a fidget-britches. Nope, Dexter, you’re OUT buddy.

7. The spider that chased me out of this room last week, was waiting at the front door for me the other morning. We had a Mexican stand-off, then he went back to reading his newspaper. It’s a tense reconciliation.

8. Me: “Oooh, I haven’t had rice for a while, yes I’ll have that for lunch with something,” My Gastric Band: “Oh, so you’ve forgotten me eh. How about I make you throw up for three hours after lunch then. Honestly, I don’t know how many times I have to remind you, dumbass.”

9. Building up to dying my own hair this month after having had a fight with my hairdresser a month ago (I know right, Mindfulness expert!). Also, been psyching myself up for the last couple of years for a third tattoo.

Quote of the week:

How was YOUR week?

About Samantha Dee, Author and Writer

Samantha Dee is the Author of ‘My Big Fat…Fat’ and ‘The Thirty Day Wellness Journal’. Her next book, ‘My Big Fat…Kitchen’ is due out soon.

When not writing books and blogging in her comedy lifestyle blog My Big Fat Blog, Samantha uses her twenty year tech career and has written several online courses for business startups.

She lives in Hampshire with her two cats and is still waiting for Gerard Butler to call. Learn more:

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