A chapter from my book ‘My Big Fat Fat’ (2018)
A humorous and touching account for those losing or coping with excess weight. With her laugh-out-loud humor, Samantha Dee covers all subjects from beauticians to socks in this easy to read A to Z guide on weight loss, maintenance, and ways to nourish your self-esteem.
K is for… Kidnapping
Oh yeah, you betcha. On account of me spending four years or so at a sneaky-beaky Government Agency (No, it’s not like ‘Spooks’- no deep fat fryers were used).
On induction, we are taught certain things to enhance and maintain our own safety: shredding everything that has your name on it; taking different routes to work; not congregating or socialising in groups; keeping a tightly locked down, minimal internet presence; not acknowledging work colleagues in public near the workplace; and making sure you are not followed or approached by strangers. Afterwards, over lunch, we had a little chat amongst ourselves about all the new things we had to now incorporate into our lives. The conversation developed into the whole kidnapping scenario—at which point I switch off.
Why, Samantha, I hear you ponder, I would think that’s an extremely important thing to know about.
Well, I say to you, my lovely reader: No one is going to bundle this body into the back of a van without a forklift. For now, I will have to live with the fact that I’m not a kidnap-able candidate for the bad guys.