My Big Fat Blog

Oh, the Pain – My Week in List Form (Cabin Fever Version)

As usual my lovelies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:

1- So we’ve recently progressed to defcon level ‘You may visit another human being’ (introverts of the world say ‘oh, goodie!’). In reality you’ve got women looking out of the window asking themselves ‘Is it worth putting a bra on?’ and then going back to de-seeding the squash that they grew from a repurposed sock drawer.

2- I had some more prospective buyers come and view my house which meant I was motivated to clean. Which inevitably meant some kind of injury. I stubbed my toe on a lifted tile in the bathroom. And screamed, a lot. The neighbors called an exorcist.

3- I also smacked my elbow with full force on the mantle edge of a cast iron fireplace. I won’t kid you, I made some brand new words for that one.

4- In conclusion I’ve deduced that lockdown has made us go way past needing human contact to randomly charging into random static objects in the hope that they’ll grow arms.

5- I’m also making new curse words when I look at my hair. But given the above, I won’t be reaching for scissors.

Quote of the Week:

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

Abraham Lincoln

How was YOUR week?

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