The epilator is good too, and it has a light on it, in case I want to wake up at midnight and epilate.
How about I make you throw up for three hours after lunch then?
'The evolution of exercise: craze > drudgery > abject hatred
'It has a really nifty applicator and feels really cool when applied - instantly calming my skin that quite often looks like I've been dragged behind a car on my…
Well here we are then, on what feels like the gritty, slimy chaotic decline into Christmas, a period of gluttony and debt and hypocr- Oh hold on, too goth? Yeah,…
I'm only considering clearing/cleaning out the truck of my car because I took my car for a valet this week and saw the guys face when he opened it.
The Dogs of 2017 pic.twitter.com/X1du1d59gC — WeRateDogs™ (@dog_rates) December 29, 2017 Completely off topic, but had to share this!! Happy New Year
I did a cookery video yesterday with a wonky eyebrow and lipstick that looked like it was applied while drunk and in a wind tunnel.
Opened the veggie drawer in my fridge and almost fainted at a massive spider. Turned out to be a tomato 'stalk'. Note to self: clean the damn fridge.
It smells like your Granny's talcum powder flouffer - you know, the one with the great big feather puff in a pink plastic pot.
I promise not to turn you into Hannibal Lector.
On the way to make a milky coffee the other day (latte for you posh b*srds), I fill up my mug with milk and walk into the bathroom with it.…
I'm a water sign. Which means that I need to be sea/ocean side fairly often. This is hopefully happening next week. If not it's going to be a week of…
My skin is white that if I bared skin, I'd permanently damage your retinas.
After that I might write a book about procrastination. Maybe. We'll see.
You know it's too hot outside when your measurement of whether or not to go outside and do adulting is whether or not you have to put a bra on…
I've tackled another room at Casa Del Hoarding Bitch, this time, the cupboard under the stairs.
She applied some numbing cream and asked me what my pain threshold was. I still didn't get nervous and my Aunty started chuckling in the corner.
Cranky, smelly old ladies with the social skills of a hedgehog and breath to match?
I think I have brain-pixies. They're like sock-fairies. On crack.
84f for the past couple of days, which means I've retreated into the closet under the stairs. The perfect place to blog, let me tell you.
Ooh, these knickers are nice, wonder why I haven't worn them in a while?
Willow's winter plumage is in full swing now. She looks like that poison-spitting dinosaur from Jurassic Park.
It didn't matter to me that I hadn't been signed by Random House or Penguin Books. I'd achieved something. I'd accomplished something, and it was truly from my heart that…
Discussion of the week is the age-old Anglo-American 'zed' or 'zee'. It's ZED, okay?
In another moment of mindlessness, I poured coffee granules on my breakfast. I could make that a think actually - like Cocoa Pops. Coffee Pops.
She was about to buy some face cream from a dodgy site that probably had rat secretions and armadillo spit in it.
I remain optimistic. I'ts just a spring-shedding. You know, like a grizzly bear does.
I love black, in my mind, it hides a multitude of sins, bulges and blobs and gives me a bit of confidence.
I almost bungled a job interview with a Company by referring to theirs as another Company altogether. Luckily my spade is large, and I dug myself out of that one.