er-flosser charged and filled with mouthwash, I switch it on without reading any instructions and realise I had no idea how to turn it off.

For those of you who have read this far and now have a deep concern for a spinster in lockdown surrounded by toothbrush chargers and laughing at the sound of her own voice, I just want to declare at this point, that I'm FINE. My prescriptions are still getting filled.

A day before lockdown, I got invited out to lunch for the first time this year. This meant a major operation to wash, put on underwear and stay awake for more than three hours. You'd be proud, I did it all.