Knickers and Incinerators – My Week in List Form

My Big Fat Blog: As usual my luvlies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:

1- Song stuck in my head #873: The theme from ‘The Ranch’ on Netflix. Yes, I’ve been bingeing again. Because Sam Elliott and Ashton Kutcher! #Lifegoals #noregrets #bucketlist

2- This week I voluntarily de-cluttered the closet under the stairs. I also realise as I write this, that when I say de-clutter, I mean ‘move stuff around the house’. Which is not really the same thing, is it? Although, I did chuck out a year-old bag of potatoes. Pondering now on the reason I bother buying them.

3- Despite thirty years of shaving, waxing, epilating and plucking, I still occasionally look down at my legs and say ‘JESUS!’ There must be SOME advantage of being this old. (and secretly, wondering whether to keep it as winter plumage?)

4- I’ve bought one of those garden incinerators. It looks like a quadriplegic version of The Tin Man from Wizard of Oz. Now you know what I’ll be whistling while I’m chucking stuff in it.

5- Spent all week pouring alcohol down the plug hole. Considering I’ve barely had two alcoholic drinks this year, I really don’t need a trunk full of hooch. I’ll be keeping back the bottle of vodka though in consideration that there are undoubtedly shitty days in my future. There always is. Oops, went a bit goth there didn’t I?

6- Film titles I never thought I’d see in my lifetime: ‘Zombies and Carpet Fitters’ What the-?

7- Ninety six days until Christmas. Just sayin’.

8- I got the milk in this morning and stayed out there looking at the sky pre-sun up; a beautiful dark petrol-blue colour. Watched a couple of people walk by to go catch their train and reminisced about London in Winter. Then realised I probably should not be standing outside with my wobbly bits scantily clad in a tee shirt and knickers. What the fuck, I’m old. There have to be some perks.

9- Did I mention my second book is out Nov 29th? Well it is, and you can pre order it now. So ya know, hint hint nudge nudge.

Quote of the week:

How was YOUR week?

About Samantha Dee, Author and Writer

Samantha Dee is the Author of ‘My Big Fat…Fat’ and ‘The Thirty Day Wellness Journal’. Her next book, ‘My Big Fat…Kitchen’ is due out soon.

When not writing books and blogging in her comedy lifestyle blog My Big Fat Blog, Samantha uses her twenty year tech career and has written several online courses for business startups.

She lives in Hampshire with her two cats and is still waiting for Gerard Butler to call. Learn more:

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