My Big Fat Blog

Vaccinations and Retrograde – My Week in List Form (Cabin Fever Version)

As usual my lovelies, here’s how my week went, in no particular order:

1- We’re still in lockdown over here during vax rollout. The lack of human contact when I went for mine meant I almost bust into tears when I saw another random human being and walked around the temporary clinic as if I was accepting an Pageant crown. The sun was shining outside; it’s been a long winter okay? No, no, that’s just something in my eye.

2- We’re still in tier four. People are getting fined for grouping together. One group not far away from me claimed ignorance. They all explained to the police that they do not read the news, nor watch television so they were unaware that there was any Covid, any lockdown, and unaware of anything else that had been happening over the last year. Perhaps the police should have brutalized them in some way and then said ‘What, we’re not supposed to do that? since when?’

3- My mission during lockdown (aside from knitting and not killing the cats to make draught excluders) has been to use up my utterly obscene collection of lotions and potions and bath products. I have two giant tote bags FULL of stuff. Very proud to say that I’m about down to one bag. A woman just doesn’t need five liters of body lotion, seven cans of self tan, six different face cleansers, two bottles of shampoo and over fifteen different masks (including the ones I keep in the fridge).

4- I took up a mini project this week to tame the eyebrows. I found a video on YouTube on how to, you know, do it properly so that I can go from brows a la ‘Patrick Moore’ to something more polite. I ended up looking like a Marx Brother.

5- Well, back to my corner I go. I’m on level 702 of Microsoft Spider Solitaire. Need to get to 800 by the end of the day.

Quote of the Week:

Who invented hugs? I mean the first hug would have been so awkward; ‘What are you doing? Why are you holding me?’ – ‘Shhh, just trust me.’

Unknown

How was YOUR week?

Author of 'My Big Fat...Fat' out now on Amazon

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