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My Big Fat Blog

You Know You’re in Lockdown When.. – My Week in List Form (Cabin Fever Version)

This is your indication that it’s Friday. You’re welcome,

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1- You know you’re in lock-down when you jump up and do a happy booty dance when a delivery slot pops up from your local grocery store. I literally haven’t been able to get one since this whole shit-storm started. I put my back out, slightly.

2- You know you’re in lock-down when you start considering tasks like cleaning a mantle clock with an old toothbrush and finding out what 5000-grit sandpaper is good for. I buy these things. I forget why.

3- You know you’re in lock-down when you phone a relative and talk about washing cars, shrinking sweaters in the wash and the bird outside the window bouncing on a flimsy branch. Anything to stay on the phone so you can hear someone else’s voice.

4- You know you’re in lock-down when your pets become clingy. My two are standing there like Children of the Corn when I wake up with a disappointed look on their faces. After they’re fed, they wander back in with the second look in their repertoire, the ‘oh, you’re still here’ look. One of them is so bored she’s taken to watching YouTube with me. She’s fascinated.

5- You know you’re in lock-down when you finally decide to quit procrastinating and start that boxing tutorial on YouTube, because you used to love boxing ten years ago. My first attempt was rather spontaneous, but I’m thinking bra-less boxing could be a thing. What d’you reckon?

6- You know you’re in lock-down when you’re scraping around for entertainment from Facebook Marketplace. I took a wrong turn somewhere:

Me: Antique rope-top path edging, lead.

FB Person: Are these still available?

Me: Yes they are.

FB Person: What color are they?

Me: They are lead colored.

FB Person: Is that like Terracotta?

6- Song stuck in my head this week – ‘doo wap, wap wap doo wop’ by those kids – you’re TOTALLY welcome.

7- You know you’re in lock-down when you find an old favorite movie on Netflix (Stargate, in this particular instance – I mean, who wouldn’t want to get TF off this planet right now?) and you find a three-second clip of an extra goofing his ‘one job’, three minutes from the end. You then replay that exact three seconds twenty times.

8- You know you’re in lock-down when you finally cave and join the other loopy-lou’s clapping on their doorstep, to nobody. You get emotional. You congratulate yourself. Then get back to giving your cushions a haircut.

9- Oh, you think I’m kidding?

Right I’m off, I have to find a day three album cover.

10 – Quote of the Week:

The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.

NOT BUDDHA

How was YOUR week?

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